Realities of Life After College

"You have a college degree why are you applying here? 

Is it that bad out there?"

           

              It has been awhile since my last post and I do not want this to be another woe is me kind of rant. So bare with me on the negative stuff because there are some amazing positives that have occurred since graduating from college. The biggest hurdle I have had to face has been finding a job. Like many people, I searched for hours. I browsed craigslist, multiple search engines, and handed my resume out to anyone hiring. After awhile my standards were definitely low. It is really hard to maintain self-esteem when you get denied or worst completely dismissed. I mean why else do we work so hard to get a college degree? I know it would appear egotistical to just assume that I would get hired based on my degree, but why not think highly of myself? Sometimes you have to be your biggest fan.

Partner In Crime

             During my months of struggling and living at home with my parents, I found someone who taught me a lot about persistence. Even though being your biggest fan is important, it is nice to have support. My current boyfriend attempted to court me for six months before I gave him a chance. At the time, my main goal was to focus on graduating with my degree; which left no time (in my mind) for anything serious. After we met, it was clear that this was the start of a great partnership. I found someone who was talented, driven, and respectful. I finally started to realize that I am capable of doing more with my life. That it is okay to change your goals as long as you stay focused and happy. The key point was to be happy. When you are not happy every one can read that and in most cases people avoid that vibe. I learned that I could cook, that I am a very supportive person and that driving is not as scary as I always thought. (Side note: I am 22 and have struggled with getting behind the wheel for years.) I learned that if I keep pushing myself, then eventually someone will give me a shot. And because of his encouragement I did not give up. I was finally employed after six months of being out of school.

Getting A Job

             My first job out of college was a retail job in a mall. I was brought on as a seasonal employee and worked with amazing people. I loved everything about it but near the end of my term I just had this pit in my stomach. I knew that the job search was about to start again and that my brief months of stability were coming to an end. But I have learned something from this. Life is all about beginnings and endings. This experience reminded me that I am a great employee and that I love being involved in something. So here I am again. Starting over. But I am not discouraged. To anyone reading this, I know looking for a job or moving on from something can be difficult. However, this is a great opportunity to think about what you truly want out of life.

Thanks again for reading my rants,
             Christina

It's Going Down, I'm Yelling Tinder!

"I'm certain I'll find my soul mate in the questionable and seedy world of online dating."
-Anonymous

Back in October 2013, I was convinced by a friend that I should check out the app Tinder. At that point, I had been single for about six months so I thought why not. Well the funny is that it became a sort of addiction. Through online dating, I felt like I had so much more power over my love life because it was like being at a buffet. All you can date! There were so many different types of guys to choose from and when you matched with someone, it felt like the biggest confidence boost. 

For me, I was busy with my senior year at a small private college; meaning no real social life. So online dating seemed like the next best option. I went into open minded because I did not want to rush into another relationship. My heart was still healing from the last relationship I had been in. Stating that you are just looking to meet people can be pretty tricky. I had to block different guys thanks to their interesting pick up lines.

What I learned from this experience is how to take a chance. I could easily mope around about how broken I felt and how hard it is for me to trust. The thing is with online dating you have to be brave. You have to realize that yes your heart can be broken but not every guy is trying to break it. You also have to realize that the point of dating in general is to take chances in other to meet some one that can change you for the better. 

I have met a few characters while using tinder and I thought it would be fun to create a list. There are five main categories:

1. Party Animals (Ravers, Musicians, DJs)

These guys are easy to spot because they have about 4 pictures of them with their friends at a club or surrounded by half naked girls. This may be a red flag if you were hoping for something long term. The conversations last at most 4 messages before you are asked if you would be down to "hook-up". In terms of musicians and DJs, these profiles will consist of their Instagram username or link to their music so that they could build a fan base or more groupies.

2. Muscle Men...do you even lift?

These guys may be my favorite because their main picture is usually shirtless. However, this is a distraction girls! LOOK AWAY! Or just look to see if they have other pictures. Because if you are into just appearance (and let's be serious most people are if they are on this app) then you may get fooled by the body and disappointed by the face. It is a sad reality. Another thing is the fact that these guys live at the gym. If you cannot keep up with their interesting eating habits or support their routines you may not last long. There is also a chance that they are looking for more of a physical relationship because most women probably want them (reference the buffet again). 

3. Recovering Romantics 

These guys are sweet hearts. They are usually the ones who are recently out of 3+ year relationships and looking to see what else is out there. Through my experience, they were cheated on in their last relationship so their interactions with dates can vary. In many cases, friends made them make the profile in hopes that they would move on and join the single world. If you meet a guy like this, have an idea of what you expect out of this app because they have already been hurt before. 

4. Foreign Guys...in the land of milk and honey.

What is it about American girls? The funniest thing that I noticed on tinder was the abundance of foreign men that are visiting California and were using the app. A large number of them instantly messaged me in regards to sex because they were leaving to go back to their home country or were new to ours. Like sex was some sort of "Thanks for being here" prize! Any ways...most of them were pretty well off but spoke very little English (shout out to my guys from France).

5. Mr. Workaholic

There is nothing wrong with a guy that is all about his work. In fact, most women want a guy that is established in his career and has goals in life. The biggest problem with this is if you are like me and have not found your spot in the world of employment. What ends of happening is that work becomes the center of their focus and no matter how spectacular you think you are...there is going to be times when work comes first. If this means they have to leave the state or work over time, then that is it. You cannot stomp your feet and pout. It only makes guys resentful. This is just something to consider when dating. Maybe when you find you are more established you can revisit that person.   

I am sure there are other guys out there that I have missed. Overall, my main message is to go out there and try it. Currently I am in a situation that has potential so I am trying not to jinx it. If you have your doubts about the whole process, make sure you do your research. There are many sites out there for all types of relationships. But if you do choose to go on dates with strangers be safe about it. Let someone know what you are doing and talk for awhile before you just jump into a situation. In this day and age, online dating is actually more common than people think. So you are not weird if you try it. You are BRAVE.

If you liked this post check out: http://sluttygirlproblems.com/guide/alice-in-tinder-land/ for more on Tinder experiences.

ABC's of Summer Bucket List

If it could only be like this always — always summer, always alone, the fruit always ripe... ~Evelyn Waugh

Now that I have gained my diploma, I am determined to enjoy my summer. So below I have created a silly bucket list of things to accomplish this summer. Many of them are really simple to do.

A- Act out a scene from favorite movie in public.
B- Head to a beach and have a bonfire.
C- Create a friendship crest.
D- Learn a fun dance routine to show off to your friends.

Single Ladies routine ;)

E- Eat at a new restaurant.
F- Make fake character personalities and use them at the bars.
G- Game of Thrones marathon.
H- Learn Parent Trap handshake.
I- Invent a summer cocktail.

J- Get a job.
K- Kiss a stranger.
L- Make homemade lemonade.
M- Have a musical movie marathon!
N- Get nails done.
O- Try online dating and actually go on a date.

P- Throw a big summer party.
Q- Quit stressing small issues.
R- Go on a road trip with friends.
S- Pick a summertime anthem.
T- Travel! Even if it is just to a new city.

U- Buy a cheap ukulele and learn a tune.
V- Volunteer somewhere.
W- Create a workout routine and stick to it :)
X- Create a new language with the letter x in every word.
Y- Do yoga!
Z- Take a zumba class for fun.

Graduation!

Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.

- STEVEN COLBERT

On May 16, 2014, my whole college experience came to an end. After all of the craziness that I had experienced in four years, I could not believe that the day finally came. You know the graduation speech that has been circulating around the internet?

Yeah that's the one! Well honestly there is so much more that should be added. For instance, what about Starbucks and Red bull that got a lot of my peers through those late night study sessions. Or the copious amount of alcohol that helped a lot of students forget the causes of their stress. And let us not forget those friends that we made that put up with us during those high stressed finals weeks. We all know those weeks because we pictured attacking our friends multiple times when they interrupted or studying. 

What I am trying to get at is that the road to graduation is not an easy one. However, it is not impossible either. I overcame the loss of family members, terminal illness, radiation, heartbreak, the end of friendships and homelessness just for that magical sheet of paper that says I am educated. 

This experience has taught me that I am stronger than I give myself credit and that you must always cherish the people in your life. I may not know where life is going to take me after this, but I do know that I do not have to worry about being alone. I have gained a network that is greater than I can imagine because I came out of my shell. The main message I would like to share in this post is that you should never let life keep you down. Yes, things get tough and you will feel like the world is against you. But the best revenge is showing that you should not be underestimated. 

For those of you that are preparing for college or those that just graduated, congratulations! You have just completed another chapter of your life but that does not mean it is the end of your book. Keep adding to your story and do not be afraid to share it! We get lost in thinking that no one understands our struggles but in reality we are not alone. So go out! Share. Live. Dance. Sing. Seek adventures. They are all introductions to something amazing.

The Future

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."- Albert Ellis

So what are you doing after you graduate?

This is the question that has been haunting me for the past few months. Here's the thing, I honestly have no idea. You spend your whole life imagining what you want your life to be like; this fantasy life. I thought I had everything "planned" out, but life got in the way. I always was into school because I thought that's what people expected from me. I had other things I liked to do but I never pursued them because I felt like people would say I'm wasting my time. Now only four months away from getting my college diploma, I've realized how much time I wasted trying to please everyone. It's okay not to have a full detailed plan about what you want to do in the "future" because you really never know what could happen.

To all my peers that have found the things they love; continue to follow your dreams and see where they lead you. People may come along to tell you that you're wasting your time, but do what you want. And if a day comes and you no longer want the same things; that's okay too. 

I've had a lot of unexpected things occur on my path to the future. So instead of asking me about my future plans, why don't people ask about my present? That's pretty interesting too. 

The future can be pretty intimidating and I'm not afraid to admit it, so what's the rush?

The College (Financial) Struggle

The Struggle is Real

So as many of you have gathered from my past blogs, college has not been a breeze for me. This is my final year so I am trying very hard to push through. However, this year I have one more obstacle to overcome; tuition. I attend a small liberal private college and the tuition can be pretty high. This year I have to come up with about $16,000 to finish off my year.

The problem is I'm poor.

I know that the go to response is, "why don't you just get a loan?" The downfall of that question is that my credit score has been ruined by the loans that I already have. On top of that, in order to get a loan I would need a cosigner but everyone that I could ask, has poor credit. Since I have tried so often, I am not allowed to request anything that checks my credit for another 12 months.

So loans are out of the question. The next step would be scholarships.

This would be easier to accomplish if scholarships did not function on a lottery system and were more available for people who are seniors rather than just freshmen.

Any other steps seem to lead to the more illegal end of the spectrum of obtaining money.

Here is my last legal attempt. I need your help to get that diploma I have worked so hard for. Despite the fact that I need $16,000; I am asking for the bare minimum of raising at least $1,000.

http://www.gofundme.com/4lvcu4 (Click for Donation Page)

Complicated Tales of Love

It has been awhile since my last entry and I really sucked at keeping my blog updated about my adventures in Europe. A lot has happened in that time. For those who know me, I have always been the girl to wear my heart on my sleeve. I can't help it.

The past few months have taught me a lot about the craziness of love.

Like many of you, I have had my share of heartbreak. I won't call them "failed" relationships, because they weren't.

My last relationship was full of a lot of spectacular moments and it made me very happy, but it also taught me a lot about who I am. The past few months were major in helping me grow as a woman. I am the type of person that will put my full heart into my relationship. I start to lose track of myself and spend most of my time hoping that the other person is doing okay. The thing about my last relationship is that I was a different person going into the relationship.

I had traveled to the place that I had dreams about. I gained a core group of amazing friends. I was set in the clubs that I was a member of and learned to put my foot down and say no to commitments that I could not keep.

I was different.

I finally learned to balance work and play, but I still had no idea where I was going when it came to the future. I just wanted to make the best of the present. 

But the thing about love is that even if you have everything else in your life figured out, love will throw you that unexpected curve ball.

Once again this girl fell and she fell hard.

Only she fell for someone who was just as lost as she was when it came to the future.

I learned that you can't really help someone find their way if you don't know what you're doing. So as hard as I tried, I had to just accept the fact that people need to make it out of the darkness on their own. You can't blame yourself if they get a few bumps and bruises along the way. The more you try to "help", the more you are probably going to irritate them. People are more susceptible to help when it is subtle and they don't feel patronized.

I understand that sometimes we want to help the people we love because we don't like to see them hurt, but people need a little pain and struggle in order to grow.

But this is only one way that I realized that love is complicated.

Another thing I wanted to comment on while I have your attention is this whole notion of he loves her, but she loves him.

Love has a crazy way of happening.

Sometimes you might feel cheated because you happened to fall for someone who is completely stuck on another person. Here's the thing, as much as it sucks you need to maintain your own dignity. Don't get upset at that other person. They might not even realize how the person you love feels about them.

It's not their fault.

The only thing you can do is continue to be the best version of yourself.

It's hard, I know.

At the end of the day you might just have to accept that you should just remain friends with this person. You never know, by doing this you might just find the person you actually have a connection with. Love is about time and place. If it isn't right, right now, who knows what the future might hold. Just don't cling to that hope. It might actually drive you crazy.