The College (Financial) Struggle

The Struggle is Real

So as many of you have gathered from my past blogs, college has not been a breeze for me. This is my final year so I am trying very hard to push through. However, this year I have one more obstacle to overcome; tuition. I attend a small liberal private college and the tuition can be pretty high. This year I have to come up with about $16,000 to finish off my year.

The problem is I'm poor.

I know that the go to response is, "why don't you just get a loan?" The downfall of that question is that my credit score has been ruined by the loans that I already have. On top of that, in order to get a loan I would need a cosigner but everyone that I could ask, has poor credit. Since I have tried so often, I am not allowed to request anything that checks my credit for another 12 months.

So loans are out of the question. The next step would be scholarships.

This would be easier to accomplish if scholarships did not function on a lottery system and were more available for people who are seniors rather than just freshmen.

Any other steps seem to lead to the more illegal end of the spectrum of obtaining money.

Here is my last legal attempt. I need your help to get that diploma I have worked so hard for. Despite the fact that I need $16,000; I am asking for the bare minimum of raising at least $1,000.

http://www.gofundme.com/4lvcu4 (Click for Donation Page)

Complicated Tales of Love

It has been awhile since my last entry and I really sucked at keeping my blog updated about my adventures in Europe. A lot has happened in that time. For those who know me, I have always been the girl to wear my heart on my sleeve. I can't help it.

The past few months have taught me a lot about the craziness of love.

Like many of you, I have had my share of heartbreak. I won't call them "failed" relationships, because they weren't.

My last relationship was full of a lot of spectacular moments and it made me very happy, but it also taught me a lot about who I am. The past few months were major in helping me grow as a woman. I am the type of person that will put my full heart into my relationship. I start to lose track of myself and spend most of my time hoping that the other person is doing okay. The thing about my last relationship is that I was a different person going into the relationship.

I had traveled to the place that I had dreams about. I gained a core group of amazing friends. I was set in the clubs that I was a member of and learned to put my foot down and say no to commitments that I could not keep.

I was different.

I finally learned to balance work and play, but I still had no idea where I was going when it came to the future. I just wanted to make the best of the present. 

But the thing about love is that even if you have everything else in your life figured out, love will throw you that unexpected curve ball.

Once again this girl fell and she fell hard.

Only she fell for someone who was just as lost as she was when it came to the future.

I learned that you can't really help someone find their way if you don't know what you're doing. So as hard as I tried, I had to just accept the fact that people need to make it out of the darkness on their own. You can't blame yourself if they get a few bumps and bruises along the way. The more you try to "help", the more you are probably going to irritate them. People are more susceptible to help when it is subtle and they don't feel patronized.

I understand that sometimes we want to help the people we love because we don't like to see them hurt, but people need a little pain and struggle in order to grow.

But this is only one way that I realized that love is complicated.

Another thing I wanted to comment on while I have your attention is this whole notion of he loves her, but she loves him.

Love has a crazy way of happening.

Sometimes you might feel cheated because you happened to fall for someone who is completely stuck on another person. Here's the thing, as much as it sucks you need to maintain your own dignity. Don't get upset at that other person. They might not even realize how the person you love feels about them.

It's not their fault.

The only thing you can do is continue to be the best version of yourself.

It's hard, I know.

At the end of the day you might just have to accept that you should just remain friends with this person. You never know, by doing this you might just find the person you actually have a connection with. Love is about time and place. If it isn't right, right now, who knows what the future might hold. Just don't cling to that hope. It might actually drive you crazy.

Preparing for an Adventure Abroad

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page" -Saint Augustine

Three days left.
            I have only been out of the country once in my life, over 4 years ago, and I went with my whole family. Now I have the opportunity to travel to Europe for a study abroad program. In exactly three days I will be doing last minute errands and getting ready to board a flight to London. At this point, I have a million emotions running through my body and cannot begin to describe how excited I am for this experience. I will be mainly exploring ancient Greece and Rome! Ever since I was a little girl, sitting in the corner of the library reading English-Italian picture dictionaries and seeing the beautiful pictures of Rome; I have always wanted to be a part of a land full of culture. As I got older and gained a fascination with Greek mythology, then I added Greece to my list of places I must visit. While I am abroad, I will try to update my blog with the highlights of my trip as often as possible J This will be an interesting journey and I hope to be detailed and honest enough to help you feel as if you were right there with me.

            As of now, I am just getting myself prepared for the flight there and since I know a special someone will be meeting me at the airport my nerves are not as bad as they were earlier in the week. I just have to remember to bring my camera to document every moment.